Crosby & Associates Leadership and Organization Development Blog

Coaching has become an enormous industry. Almost all coaching occurs in one on one conversations. Out hypothesis, based on more than a combined century of work, is that development of leadership skills and habits best occurs in the context of the leader’s systemic relationships. Coaching that only occurs separate from actual work relationships are more prone to people who need help the most gaming the development system. Our process includes coaching the participant while they interact with their direct reports, the application of learning by the participate to a real work case study, facilitated one on ones between the student and their immediate supervisor, lots of T-group based experiential learning, and live feedback between the student and their peers throughout the course. If you only see a student privately and/or in a traditional class room setting they may be good talking the talk but weak at walking the walk back in the work system, which is where it really matters.

The post-pandemic world is awash with hybrid and remote work, and the use of virtual meetings. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but just as is true of in person interaction, quality is up to us. The following are tips on getting the most out of your on-line interactions (many of which apply in person as well).

Don’t under-communicate. This is a plague in most organizations. The people that depend on you are the best source of feedback on whether they are getting the information they believe they need in order to get their jobs done.

Feedback. Ask for it regularly about whether the meeting is still necessary, whether there are ways to improve the format, etc.

Don’t over-communicate. Don’t meet so often that it becomes an obstacle to productivity instead of a asset.

Create an agenda and follow it. Review it at the beginning of the meeting and ask if there is anything that is urgently in need of being added. Tackle the most urgent and important items first in case you run short on time.

Time. Be impeccable about time. People will adjust to the norm you set. Start late, they’ll show up late. Start and end on time!

What, who, by-when. Check to see whether there are actions that need to occur (and who is going to do them and by-when) after each important discussion. Track in a manner that can be visual for all (on a white board or on a doc that can be shared, etc.) and distribute at the end. At a minimum, review commitments from the last meeting that are slipping (“Of the commitments made last meeting, are any slipping?” Important accomplishments should also be mentioned, so others are aware.

Be efficient. Stay on track. Request conversations that can really be handled by two or a small sub-group be tabled and recommenced after the meeting.

Don’t be so efficient and task focused that you kill dialogue.

Gatekeep. Ask quieter members for their opinions, especially on topics where you believe they have expertise. If people are quiet and they don’t have subject matter knowledge, why are they there?

Structure dialogue at key moments. Use breakout rooms to have people talk in pairs for at least 5 minutes and possibly longer about important topics. Don’t kill dialogue by insisting on a structure where the leader does most of the talking and it is up to individuals to interject. Even if the purpose of the meeting is to simply spread information, let people talk in pairs about the information they are hearing (unless you don’t care about what they actually got). If you don’t structure dialogue the knowledge of the introverts will be left behind, and the quality of what is understood will be impaired.

Periodically assess whether this meeting is still the best way to communicate.

Periodically assess whether the right people are in the meeting.

Cameras on during on-line meetings. Turning them off for a minute should be ok, but if people are off camera during most of the meeting, they are probably doing other things. Why are they there?

Be clear about decisions. Do any need to be made and if so who makes them and how? If you think you are deciding by consensus, be clear about how long you are going to take, and if a consensus isn’t reached by the end of that time, who will decide. If an individual is going to make a decision (a decision structure we believe is the most efficient and effective), who do they need to hear from? Do they need to get input from anyone who is not in the meeting? By-when do they need to decide? Who needs to be informed?

The leader doesn’t have to lead the meetings! Let someone else facilitate. Get clear with them about the structure and then let go. Debrief if you have concerns. Encourage them to hold you to the same rules as everyone else. Free yourself to focus on the content and your role in the group (regarding decisions, etc.); let go of trying to run the meeting process!

Activity

Hand this out to the meeting participants. Tell them not to put their name on it. Have them rate the meeting you are in on this scale:

Read these instructions: Fold the paper in half. Pass it around the group until everyone has one paper. If you get your own back don’t tell anyone. Raise your hand if you had a 1, a 2, a 3, a 4, a 5. Write the totals for each number on a flipchart or other visual. Talk in pairs for at least 5 minutes about the ratings and what can be done to improve the meeting (or whether it should be eliminated or replaced in some way). Discuss as a whole group.

General Lessons Learned

The Upside: During the pandemic in one international organization, I prepped 250 managers to run half day on-line sessions and 2 hour follow-ups with their teams of direct reports, during which they identified barriers to team effectiveness, including feedback to the managers, decided on solutions, and implemented. The reviews of satisfaction and effectiveness of the process were high. My colleagues and I also led T-group workshops on-line. The results for most participants were indistinguishable from live sessions. Cost prohibitive international and long-distance sessions became possible.

The downside: Informal conversation is lost, and some of what is most vital when people gather occurs informally. Body language is also mostly lost, although one can tune in even more carefully to other cues, such as facial expressions and tone of voice (there is still more social information available than in e-mails and other written communication). Less motivated participants slid more easily through the process. Even for motivated participants, there reason to believe that there is more to being in person than meets the eye.

Activity

Hand this out to the meeting participants. Tell them not to put their name on it. Have them rate the meeting you are in on this scale:

Read these instructions: Fold the paper in half. Pass it around the group until everyone has one paper. If you get your own back don’t tell anyone. Raise your hand if you had a 1, a 2, a 3, a 4, a 5. Write the totals for each number on a flipchart or other visual. Talk in pairs for at least 5 minutes about the ratings and what can be done to improve the meeting (or whether it should be eliminated or replaced in some way). Discuss as a whole group.

General Lessons Learned

The Upside: During the pandemic in one international organization, I prepped 250 managers to run half day on-line sessions and 2 hour follow-ups with their teams of direct reports, during which they identified barriers to team effectiveness, including feedback to the managers, decided on solutions, and implemented. The reviews of satisfaction and effectiveness of the process were high. My colleagues and I also led T-group workshops on-line. The results for most participants were indistinguishable from live sessions. Cost prohibitive international and long-distance sessions became possible.

The downside: Informal conversation is lost, and some of what is most vital when people gather occurs informally. Body language is also mostly lost, although one can tune in even more carefully to other cues, such as facial expressions and tone of voice (there is still more social information available than in e-mails and other written communication). Less motivated participants slid more easily through the process. Even for motivated participants, there reason to believe that there is more to being in person than meets the eye.

And in this age of technology, for in-person meetings, trainings, workshops, etc.:

Create a culture where people turn off their electronic devices for important conversations and meetings. Being on such devices should be the exception, not the rule. If a meeting is so boring that any participant is going to be on their devices during the majority of it, question whether their presence is truly bringing value and/or whether the meeting is.

One of my favorite and greatest clients used to kickoff our week long T-group workshops for his organization by turning off his cell phones (he carried more than one) in front of all the participants and saying if he could do that until the next break, so could they.